Chapter 1: The Sports

1. I am winning.
2. Curling is secretly janitor training.
3. Golf is for old people.
4. Chess is not a sport.
5. To be a true jock, you must play with at least a 15 foot hoop.
6. When I was 3, I could beat LeBron James; he's trash.
7. Baseball is not for jocks.
8. Kickball is bad baseball; it's really not for jocks.

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